Being falsely cheerful has become a way of life. And I don't even do it very well.
Meeting with my advisor is always a chore, although he's a wonderful professor who likes John le Carre as I do - but it's his job to check on my welfare. And I don't know whether to tell the truth or paint rosy illusions. I usually settle for embellishing the truth - the 'yes, it has been great, though of course there're a few things that could be better' approach.
He advised me to be a little more assertive when dealing with delayed luggage, so I actually wrote down what I wanted to tell those airline people before I called them, so that they could be induced to take me a little more seriously.
Naturally, it didn't work out as planned. It worked out pretty badly, in fact.
Yes, and so I found out today that in the face of airline bureaucracy and sarcastic staff, I crumple without a fight. And then slink off to the toilet for a cry, like a primary school kid, my dignity in shreds. How absolutely humiliating.
To make matters worse my dorm neighbour walked in to ask me something (probably homework, as usual - I'm little good for anything else, it seems). My roommate told her tacitly that I wasn't in that great a mood for a homework chat, but she went ahead anyway, saw my odd behaviour and wondered aloud, 'Is she laughing or...?'
Talk about compounding my humiliation.
Next flight home to Singapore will be on Singapore Airlines. I'm already making arrangements.
words were spilled on Monday, February 06, 2006
Comments:
... oh, brenda.
you should scream at people every now and then. i find that it helps.
i don't think my classmates think my friends are male. they do (and rightly) think that my friends are dead weird.
which, considering the kind of people we get in this course, is pretty damn weird.
much love. do take care.
you should scream at people every now and then. i find that it helps.
i don't think my classmates think my friends are male. they do (and rightly) think that my friends are dead weird.
which, considering the kind of people we get in this course, is pretty damn weird.
much love. do take care.
# posted by 
: 9:47 AM
: 9:47 AM
i would if i could, but there isn't anyone i can safely scream at here. my relationships with people here are cordial and superficial at best. my social circle is tenuous as it is and i can't afford to alienate more people than i already have. or that's what i'm afraid of. maybe it's true, maybe it isn't. i'm not sure, and today's not a good day to consider these issues objectively.
some people i don't think you need in your social circle. like the neighbour asking for homework help. stupid insensitive idiot.
i f-locked my holga post because it's, you know, impolite to put up pictures of a classmate for all to see. they turned out rather pretty, though, and the boy is quite photogenic. want? i can send.
i f-locked my holga post because it's, you know, impolite to put up pictures of a classmate for all to see. they turned out rather pretty, though, and the boy is quite photogenic. want? i can send.
# posted by : 9:51 PM
: 9:51 PM
oh, please do. holga shots pique my curiosity. i have a gmail account: ambienteflux@gmail.com
by the way, where do u want me to send those photos u asked for?
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by the way, where do u want me to send those photos u asked for?
