No specifics, I'm afraid, but it's happened again and brought me crashing down from Wednesday's stratospheric mood. I can't help but be bothered. Here I am trying to find some sort of happy equilibrium and make my own choices without having to conform unwillingly to someone else's rationally constructed ideal of a full and interesting lifestyle, and then I find these choices under attack. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly in the span of an hour. To be fair, my increasingly snappish responses, along with my usual incompetence at the art of subtle conversation, probably aggravated the situation. Or I could be imagining the whole business and taking lots of needless offence, in which case I'd be proving the case against myself and still end up in the same no-win situation.
I think I might be becoming pathologically passive-aggressive because I get easily irked yet dare not confront. Even then I don't make a very good passive-aggressive - I need better retaliatory tricks up my sleeve, or else I'm just all passivity with zero aggression and that's sad.
I know I'm babbling heat-of-the-moment nonsense now and that everything would look different in the morning. Oh wait, it is 3 in the morning. See, it's never rational to get angry - bad for sleep, bad for homework, bad for staying awake for the next day's lectures, no good for anything productive - unless blog rants count. But I'm hopelessly irrational anyway and so I don't care.
words were spilled on Friday, September 22, 2006
Comments:
(LZ here.)
I've been describing myself as passive-aggressive for most of my last year with regards to the not-war with my roommate, now that I think about it. Your blog entry sounds almost freakily similar.
Take care.
In other news, I've a room now, in a flat shared with two other LSE students, & the room comes with a double bed. Since a(nother) trip to IKEA is looming up anyway, do you prefer a high pillow or a low one?
I've been describing myself as passive-aggressive for most of my last year with regards to the not-war with my roommate, now that I think about it. Your blog entry sounds almost freakily similar.
Take care.
In other news, I've a room now, in a flat shared with two other LSE students, & the room comes with a double bed. Since a(nother) trip to IKEA is looming up anyway, do you prefer a high pillow or a low one?
# posted by 
: 9:36 AM
: 9:36 AM
a high one, i think. where's your flat, by the way?
i'm getting way too easily stressed out by all sorts of social situations, and it's not good at all. on top of accumulating work, it's creating chronic tension that i can't get rid of.
argh.
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i'm getting way too easily stressed out by all sorts of social situations, and it's not good at all. on top of accumulating work, it's creating chronic tension that i can't get rid of.
argh.
