Flitting around from this and that in a state of semi-panic seems to be the main thing occupying my time in these final, too-short weeks. I confess a certain reluctance to leave - yet there's an odd (and regrettable, because it's really very silly) sense of shame to this whole business of being so hopelessly provincial and limited in my outlook that I shudder to think of departing this cosy home existence to resume life in a challenging foreign environment.
This is the downside of associating with go-getting, cosmopolitan, opportunity-seizing types when you are not a go-getting, cosmopolitan, opportunity-seizing type. You can't decide whether to be feel inspired or inadequate.
Lately, I seem to be falling prey to sentimentality and nostalgia and the futile search for fixed points in a world where everything changes. It's not my usual practice to be maudlin about relationships eroding away with time and indifference, but that, I suppose, has changed too. I have never been more glad to be home - things like meeting my maternal grandparents in Malaysia, family dinners, hanging out with friends, shopping with my sister have taken on a greater - ah, emotional dimension? Layer of meaning? Forgive this sentimental twaddle. As usual, I blame caffeine - this stuff has some definite adverse psychological effects.
words were spilled on Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Comments:
... i don't think there's anything wrong with dreading challenging foreign environments. the words alone give me the creeps.
you take care. when exactly are you leaving? maybe we should go out again?
you take care. when exactly are you leaving? maybe we should go out again?
# posted by 
: 12:34 PM
: 12:34 PM
yes, then i get to wondering what business i have studying abroad anyway if i dread it so much.
i'm leaving this coming friday. any time from monday to wednesday?
i'm leaving this coming friday. any time from monday to wednesday?
you made it through one year and you're still mostly alive. so it can't be that bad, can it?
i have no classes on tuesday. does that work?
i have no classes on tuesday. does that work?
# posted by : 8:43 AM
: 8:43 AM
think so. lunch?
it's not that bad. it's just that many people give me the impression that they like it better there than here, and make me feel like i somehow should, but i still don't.
it's not that bad. it's just that many people give me the impression that they like it better there than here, and make me feel like i somehow should, but i still don't.
can. where'd you want to go?
i should think that a point of view which you don't necessarily have to share.
Post a Comment
i should think that a point of view which you don't necessarily have to share.
# posted by : 9:49 AM
: 9:49 AM