nondescript in blue

Saturday, July 24, 2004
I'm essentially non-confrontational. For good reason, since if it ever comes to a confrontation, my handling of the situation is laughably clumsy and tragically ineffective. Emotional situations are the worst. There's nothing reassuringly logical or concrete, no shortcuts, no brilliant, easy solutions.  There's only blind groping through the chaotic confusion of indefinables. And myself futilely searching for the correct words with which I may argue my case. I tend to lose... a lot. I'm violently averse to verbal combat, which is why I react badly to people who suggest that I take up Law.

I hate confrontations. They frighten me into being defensive and incoherent, thereby exposing my weaknesses. And if they are emotional in nature, things get impossible, because I haven't a clue how to deal with emotion. Properly, that is. The only method I can use to make the problem go away is to make the person go away. Bad idea? I thought so.

Brenda - resolutely dedicated to a life of tedious stability and relentless obsession,
stuck with a mental age that is increasingly failing to keep pace with physical age.
Addicted to methyxanthines, NSAIDs, monosodium glutamate, instant gratification and certain forms of mindless entertainment. Now with a newfound addiction to pretty sweaters, online movie rental and solitary urban hikes in foreign countries.

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