Tuesday, March 23, 2004
2 days into the new school term, and I haven't done any homework for 2 days running. Erm... yay?
Video editing expert I am not - in fact I cannot even lay claim to being an
amateur at Adobe Premiere, though I can dream. The heart is willing, but the time is short, the hardware pitifully inadequate and the cash insufficient. I was reminded of this long-unfinished task today when I suddenly found myself in the position of giving advice on video manipulation for a LOTR vid to be screened during the upcoming band concert. Granted, it was worse-than-amateurish advice and I was basically trying to dredge things out of my memory as I fumbled along, but it inspired my mind to shake off post-exam fatigue and fool around at the computer while happily ignoring homework and sleep.
Then my sister needed help on her Art homework, and I found myself reviving long-disused mental and motor processes relevant to basic cloud, sky and tree watercolour painting techniques - laying washes, blending, colour-mixing etc.
In a nutshell, I wasn't doing anything academic. Of course, it all felt incredibly
good. I haven't felt like this for too long. Overstimulation of the academic and rote learning centres has led to fatigue and lethargy conducive to lecture naps. Too tired to do anything, or too lazy, or too bored, uninterested etc. I've been feeling increasingly unmotivated this year. Think it's about time to kick back some life into this dreary, dreary year.
I'm trying to be optimistic. Oh, do cut me some slack. I don't believe in blog-whinging. I prefer to confine that to personal diaries.
Personal diaries... now that may be interesting. Mine aren't exactly
personal, although necessity compels me to keep them mostly private. Jieying, who had read harmless snippets, once said that they seemed to be written for someone else to read - and that is true. It's not just a matter of writing style either. I really do write in the hope that 'someone else' might read it in the future and perhaps know me a bit better. It may be a symptom of exhibitionism (and I mean in a
general sense, thank you very much). At the same time, I'm writing to myself some months or years in the future, in the hope that the past won't simply fade to indistinct shadows, that the mind doesn't just let memories wither and die.
There are just so many things to learn, to remember, to ponder. I can't grab hold of all of them and the ones I have like nothing better than to slip away.
My vote is for the prosaic, because every time I attempt the poetic I feel like the world's biggest pretentious fool.
And I'll never, ever attempt a GP essay question on religion. Ever. I think I can get by on the other topics.
words were spilled on Tuesday, March 23, 2004
