Friday, July 18, 2003
Went home, slept like the dead for 3 hours, had a late dinner... it has been a rather exhausting week. Or perhaps I get too easily exhausted. Whoever said that females survive better on less sleep than males? I barely get by.
Am now staring at the 3 books I borrowed from the school library this afternoon. What lovely cheerful titles. One is on suicide and another deals with schizophrenia. [The third book is somewhat healthier, I suppose. 'Ethics' in preparation for GP. Yes, I mug even as I read for pleasure.] (Mental illnesses make for pleasant reading, don't they?) Psychiatric analysis is confusing as hell but fascinating nonetheless, in large part because it seems insanely complicated and nearly impossible. It makes my head spin. But that's me speaking. I'm a borderline obsessive-compulsive who likes her world neat, orderly and clearly-defined, and who is uncomfortable with ambiguity and messy emotional what-nots. Still, it's a distinctly disturbing experience reading, in detail, about the road to the 'disintegration of self'. You start detecting mildly psychotic tendencies within yourself. There's something unsettling about being able to see some sort of warped sense in madness.
But of course, this doesn't equate insanity. Not while you can still keep those tendencies under control.
On a separate note:
This may sound incredible, but I think Hwa Chong life has made me a more positive person than I was before. Unglaublich.
words were spilled on Friday, July 18, 2003
